21.00 18/12 2010
I am at a gathering with the Bulgarian diaspora in Lund, Sweden. During the next week must of us will be travelling to Bulgaria to celebrate christmas and new years eve, so this is a kind of good bye meeting. Since the community in Lund is mainly made up of students, the participants in our gathering change form semester to semester. I couldn't claim that I know everyone present very well,some people I have met only a few times, but none the less it is a cordial meeting. All speakers refer to "we" and "us" in a way that makes it sound that we have always been together.
10.24 19/12 2010
The plane to Sofia is delayed, like most other planes on European airports this day. But we need not shead tears - Cimber Sterling offers us a free lunch, and I again find myself in the midst of a cordial group of Bulgarians. One of them was present the previous day, the other I haven't seen in half a year. But nontheless , we entertain ourself so vividly that I do not once manage to pick up the book from my backpack. And just like yesterday, the language and discussion invokes the image of us as people who have known each other forever. We don't belive so, but the illusion makes us feel comfortable for the moment.
The wait at the airport was prolonged, and at one point I did manage to skim through the Sydsvenskan of the day. As so often on christmas, the editor's column remembered those who are alone at this holiday that most people spend with their near and dear one's. The column stated that involuntary solitude is a problem, but it also noted that there is a very high correlation between the number of single house holds and a high GDP. So is solitude the price we pay for being rich? Not necessarily, Sydsvenskan wrote. The fact that many people live alone does not prove that they are lonely. Some people like being alone, and an individualistic society lets the individual choose for him or herself which group to belong to. The column supported its opinions with research that shows that people are not more lonely in Sweden today than they were in the 80's.
I don't think the issue can be dealt with so easily. As a matter of fact, what most foreigners I know says about Sweden, and what frustrates many visitors, is the strong individualism that creates a certain alienation between people. I remember a Polish friend that had seen the film Lilja forever. What terrified her the most was not so much the criminals who forced Lilja into prostitution - such people and problems exist everywhere . but the indifferent attitude from the neighbours. No one sees what is happening, because noone feel olliged, or alowed, to know anyhting about their neighbours.
Swedish people do have friends, of course, and between friends we are probably not more individualistic than any other people. But with people we don't know at all, or with people that we don't know very well, we adopt a polite but strict 'mind your own business' attitude. For good and for bad. In many situations a person does better without the opinions of curious neighbours'. But we also overlook many wrongdoings, like neighbours who beat their children or bus passengers who threathen other passengers, simply because we don't feel that this is our problem.
Within Europe, Bulgaria is probably as far from Sweden as you get when it comes to individualism and group responsibility. With more than one Bulgarian around, a strong group feeling tends to materialize almost immediately. You might have to listen to more life stories than you ever wanted, but you will never feel alone. It is also hard to think a story like Lilja forever set in a Bulgarian city, where neighbours tend to be highly aware about who lives in each flat. It is less than 24 hours since I and my girlfriend arrived in our friend's flat in Sofia - but I think most of the house already know that we are here. Which doesn't prevent a hundred and one other problems that Bulgarians face every day. And I can not for my life imagine a Bulgarian op/ed. like Sydsvenskan saying that solitude can be a good thing and that it is a sign of a developed economy. After all, there is a difference between lonely and alone, but the noun to both adjectives is loneliness.
No comments:
Post a Comment